Book Review: Carter Finally Gets It by Brent Crawford

• Hardcover: 304 pages


• Publisher: Hyperion Books CH (April 7, 2009)


• ISBN: 1423112466


• List Price: $6.40


• I finished this book on January 17
  

Kayso, I'm giving this book as a selection for the Book Club I run at school because we will be meeting the author at the Teen Book Festival in May. I can't wait for them to read it because I know they will love it.
The story is about Carter, a brand new baby Freshman boy with ADD and a stutter. Our story starts during the summer right before school starts. Anyone who teaches high school knows that Freshmen are really 8th graders for a good portion of 9th grade. Carter, whose ADD makes it very hard to focus on anything, is definitely immature. He's part of the popular crew and he plays football, though he doesn't really like it. He goes to high school parties he doesn't really want to go to, and he tries like whoa to have sex with some girls. He makes a lot of mistakes. Many of them are embarrassing. He accidentally breaks some hearts and has his broken.
The book has many qualities you'd expect from a book told by a 14 year old boy. There are fart jokes (I don't care who you are, fart jokes are always hilarious) and many deep thoughts on the differences between girl boobs and lady boobs (boobs are pretty much the only thing Carter can focus on).
The author, Brent Crawford, also suffers from ADD. He presumably also once suffered from being a 14 year old boy. His writing style is real and engaging, even if the narrative seems on fast forward sometimes (much like the VHS tape that Carter buys in the book. Hint: it's porn). Crawford is also an actor, and apparently a jean aficionado - which is weird but kind of awesome.
The book goes from slapsticky to serious smoothly. The whole last fourth of it just tickled my high school nerd girl so hard, but I'll let you figure it out for yourself. I'll leave you with my favorite quote from Carter:

"I think when you tap into something that you really want to do, you have to fight for it, even if the fight is with yourself."

Soundtrack: Luck Be a Lady Tonight from Guys and Dolls
(You'll have to read the book to figure out why)

Tantalize by Cynthia Leitich Smith

• Reading level: Young Adult
  
• Hardcover: 336 pages
• Publisher: Candlewick (February 13, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0763627917
• ISBN-13: 978-0763627911

Okay, so here's the thing. Guilty pleasure are supposed to be pleasurable. Tantalize has all the makings of being a pretty hot teen vampire read. Except somewhere in here things fall short.
Quincy (yeah, short for Quincy Morris. From Dracula. Not even a girl's name. also from Texas. uck.) is a senior in high school with a (half) werewolf as a best friend/secret love interest. Like ya do. Anyway, apparently they live in some world where everyone knows about werepeople and vampires and they live in some kind of uneasy truce like in X-men. (Coincidentally, were = man so werepeople is manpeople? boo.)
So Quincy's fam owns a restaurant but now the only surviving family members are her and her passive aggressive Uncle. They are remodeling the place to be Sanguini's (get it?) a vampire themed restaurant. And the chef dies at the last minute and they need a new one and of course Quincy is the one to train him/oversee his vampire routine and creation of the menu.
In short order Quincy adopts a skipping school problem almost as serious as her shiny new drinking problem. She also alienates her were-boyfriend and develops an uneasy crush on the dockers-wearing blond cook who she's supposed to be turning into a vampire chef.
This ends, I'm sure you could guess with Quincy tied up in the bonds of some vamps. There are the makings of some good stuff here, but it all goes kind of flat somewhere around the addition of baby squirrel to the menu and Quincy donning a crazy lady dom outfit.
Not a fan of the characters in here so much, and there's nothing really sexy going on although it really seems like there should be (with a title like Tantalize....just sayin'). Oh, jebus, I forgot to tell you. None of the other werepeople turn into anything cool. Here's a thought for you: were-armadillo. Not Sexy! I want to hit this book's nose with a rolled up newspaper and say "Bad book! No were-armadillo! Bad!"
Here's the thing: I was hoping this would be some nice filler until I can read about Edward and Bella again, but it only made me miss them more. le sigh.

Spinx by Robin Cook

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Signet (July 10, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0451159497
• ISBN-13: 978-0451159496

Alright, I know the cover image looks awful, but I had to search out this masterpiece of 80's intrigue for you to see (or for me to criticize). First, shafts of light in the dark = mood lighting. Next, please note our main character's total mom jeans and windblown 80's mop top. She's also totally running like a girl (cause she's in danger, eep!). Next, there is the Arab looking Dracula in either a mirror or a sarcophagus who is supposed to look like Frank Langella and actually kinda does.
Anyway, moving on. I read this because someone I really like and respect gave it to me. This might have been good in 1979 when it was written (and before I was born) but it does not hold up today. Alright: Egyptologist Erica Barron goes to Egypt for the first time by herself and then tries her hardest to win the Darwin Award. Somehow Erica ends up involved in a black market conspiracy involving a Seti I statue and murder (insert dramatic music here: dun dun duuuun!). Also she meets two different older men (with hot 80's chest hair, and as a bonus, one is French) who are clearly both using her for different things. Also there's lots of people following her and she almost gets killed a lot. A ton of other dudes die in her immediate presence and this does not seem strange to her nor does it cause the police to want to jail her in any way. Weird. Oh, and there's a guy who she was dating back in America who they keep cutting to and it's very annoying. He's the worst subplot of all time. So, yeah, there are three potential beaus and not one graphic sex scene. boo!
Also, lots of stuff in here seems vaguely racist, but I have a hunch that it wasn't so bad at the time it was written. This is one of those books where you keep wondering what the characters are thinking (and not in a good way) and then they do the dumbest thing next and all you can do is shake your head.
Oh! And did you know Robin Cook was a dude? And a doctor? And handsome? Moral of the story? Maybe he should have stuck to medical thrillers.
And, cause I know you're interested: here's the movie info (though I caution you that the reviews for that are worse than this one)

Someday This Pain Will be Useful to You by Peter Cameron

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR) (September 18, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0374309892
• ISBN-13: 978-0374309893
• List Price: $16.99
• I finished this book on Dec. 28

The title of this book comes from an Ovid quote: "Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." I like the title, and I like the cover. It was one of the books in our new order and it intrigued me.
In this book our hero is James, who lives in NYC and works in his mother's gallery. He is a probably gay, antisocial genius. He's been accepted to Brown (didn't get into Yale) but of course he doesn't want to go. Supporting characters include his sister: Gillian (with a hard G) who is having an affair with a married professor, James' mother who is just coming off her third divorce and runs the gallery where James works. James' grandmother, Nanette, is the only family member who he can relate to. In fact, she is the only person who actually makes sense.
James has a crush on one of his older co-workers at the gallery and he sort of fakes the guy out and is accused of sexual harassment. Oh, and he's in therapy. And his therapist is kind of lame and the sessions don't seem to really go anywhere.
One neat thing about this book is that James is obsessed with vocabulary and proper usage of grammar. He is very concerned about expressing things properly, and I love this. (Remember how sexy I think good vocab is?)
Firstly: this book reminds me a lot of Catcher in the Rye. Young man has to face facts, make a decision regarding school. He has one family member whom he relates to and loves. And, accordingly, I feel about it the way I feel about that book. I liked it, I was on board. However, it was a quiet story and I am sort of looking for more in a book. Like explosions, you know? Or sex. Either way I liked the character and the prose, so all in all I'm a fan.
Anyway, here's Peter Cameron's site. I would definitely be interested in reading something else of his. If you want to read the first chapter of this book, go here. (Coincidentally, that's why I took this home like an eager puppy, because I peeked at the first few pages.)

Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List by David Levithan and Rachel Cohn

• Reading level: Young Adult
  
• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Knopf Books for Young Readers (August 28, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0375844406
• ISBN-13: 978-0375844409
• List Price: $16.99
• I finished this book on Dec. 24

So, okay: this is the new to me book from David Levithan and Rachel Cohn, who wrote Nick and Norah and who fucking rock. I was very excited when this came in at my library right before Christmas. Also: remember last spring when I went to that young adult book fair and I saw Mr. Levithan speak? He read a chapter of this then, saying that he probly shouldn't because it wasn't published yet etc. and he read it substituting the word "frock" for "fuck" which is also awesome. So, yeah, I lurve him.
Anyway, try this on for size: Naomi and Ely are these hot toddies living in NYC and they have been best friends/soul mates for just about ever. Except, Naomi is in love with Ely who is gay (insert Nelson Muntz Ha Ha here). Anywho, the pair have a No Kiss List in place to ensure against a N and E breakup, which includes a few random hotties they both know. Naomi is currently dating Bruce the Second (cause he's the second boy she's dated named Bruce. God, I love them) but she's not really into him, she's more biding her time until Ely realizes maybe he wants her instead of the cock. Either way shenanigans ensue when Ely kisses Bruce the Second. Naomi is really more hurt because she realizes Ely will never love her that way than because of the adulterous making out. This starts a huge fight/drama/journey of awesomery.
This is written in alternating chapters as was N&N but the cool thing is: it's not just Ely and Naomi talking, it's lots of people. Aside from there being two Bruces (I always think of this Bruce when I hear that name, btw) there are two Robins (one is from Schenectady) a chihuahua and lots of insomniacs. Lots of different people have a say in this story and somehow all of their mini dramas and points of view add up to one very well told story. I totally didn't know which author was writing which chapter when I was reading it and was amazed that they both shared writing the same characters. Fucking rad. Naomi's chapters have these little symbols instead of words sometimes, which I thought was cooler in theory than in the execution.
To read an interview with the authors: go here. Or check out their websites go here for Levithan's and here for Cohn's.
The cool thing about this book is it speaks to so many different kinds of relationships and contains problems everyone can relate too. Also, the main characters share sparkly belts. I'm in frocking love :)

Blue Bloods by Melissa De La Cruz

• Reading level: Young Adult
  
• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: Hyperion (March 27, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 142310126X
• ISBN-13: 978-1423101260
• List Price: $8.99
• I finished this book on Nov. 26

So, first off: this is the first book finished/review from my new house! I'll be posting pictures soon, once we're more situated.
Right, the book: have you ever heard of vampires with different colored blood? Now you have: thanks to this YA vamp tale. Fucking get this: they are rich kid vampires...and they really have blue blood. Ack.
Our heroine Schuyler (who shall henceforth be called Skylar cause that's cooler and I can't spell that other Dutch nonsense) who is apparently a "young Kate Moss" (p.s. i can't stand kate moss. too skinny, not cute, coke addict, grossest boyfriend ever. hate! so much hate i refuse to capitalize. or write complete sentences!) Anywho: Skylar is from a super rich family and goes to some crazy prep school in NYC. Apparently she is goth, and dresses like a homeless person, but also sometimes models. The fuck? Whatever. So, she finds out she's really a vampire. There's some really bizarre vampire history here about how they are totally immortal and die so they can chill out, but then their memories are reborn or something. I dunno, I didn't really get it/like it.
Anyway, nothing is supposed to be able to kill the blue bloods, but (dun dun dun!) something is. Oh noes! So, Sky has to figure it out with the on again off again help of Jack Force, fellow vamp and sometime douche bag. Also, there was something about Jack having to marry his twin sister. V. C. Andrews, anyone?
What I didn't like about this (besides the above) is that these rich kids have an irritating sense of entitlement. Why are three 15 and 16 year olds sitting at a hotel bar drinking cocktails, not to mention getting into clubs. Also, I can't stand name dropping of any kind and there's a fuck-load of that in there too. The only fashion I know is Project Runway (what happened to Andre?)
and I'd like to keep it that way. Do not talk about designers/brands to me in order to impress me, thanks.
So, yeah. Oh, I forgot to mention that absolutely nothing goddamn happens in the end. Not a thing is resolved. At all. Cause there's a sequel. Something about Italy. Or space pirates, I wasn't really listening. Cool cover, but I still wouldn't recommend it.

Anyone But You by Lara Zeises

• Reading level: Young Adult
  
• Mass Market Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Laurel Leaf; Reprint edition (November 13, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0440238587
• ISBN-13: 978-0440238584
• List Price: $6.50
• I finished this book Nov. 4

I know my lovelies. You were thinking: "Gee, bee, I wish you'd review some more obscure YA literature, because I can't get enough." And I'm all "No prob, I live to serve." Aren't I sweet like that?
Anyway, first off, here's a list of some character names from this one: Critter, Layla, Jesse and Seattle. My take: someone who's name is Critter is not allowed to be sexy. Ever. Layla is a good name, but is now permanently associates with Eric Clapton's hard on for George Harrison's wife and Seattle, well, they call her Sea for short and that annoys me. Also, Jesse reminds me of Uncle Jesse, and even though I'd make out with John Stamos in real life, ugh.
The story: Seattle's dad sucks at life and briefly dated Layla and then abandoned them, leaving Seattle with Layla with her own biological children, Critter and Jesse. So, even though Sea is not her daughter nurse Layla raises her as though she is. Now Sea is 15 and Critter is 17 and they maybe have the hots for each other. Yeah, this is the Brady Bunch sequel movie in book form. Okay, so, not that dramatic, but they definitely dig each other. And they each have some bizarre other relationship they are working on through the course of the book and neither of them work out. Both of their potential significant others seem odd to me, as in they are not very believable characters. The book makes up for this, though, by having realistic teenage fights and a good single mom character.
So, let me ask you this? They aren't technically siblings, but it's weird...right? Right? Hello? Don't worry, nobody ends up getting any (or not much, at least).
Anywho: props to Ms. Zeises for having a cool looking sight and referring to herself as a dorkus extremus (I often refer to myself as a nerd-bomb, in case you were wondering).
Oh! And Critter loved Rod Stewart! What?? You know who else loves Rod Stewart? My mom! Boo! Because I cannot in good conscience link to the real deal please enjoy Mike Meyer's take on him. Piper down!

Inexcusable by Chris Lynch

• Reading level: Young Adult
  
• Paperback: 165 pages
• Publisher: Simon Pulse (May 8, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1416939725
• ISBN-13: 978-1416939726
• List Price: $6.99
• I finished this book on Nov. 2

So, first off, I have to say that I think this cover is good and everything, but to me, I do not think it speaks to what the book is really about. To me, a stray bra makes me think fun sexy times are to be had. And trust me, that's not what's going on here. What is going on here? Date rape. Boo that.
In describing this book to an English Teacher at my school I said it is like the opposite story of the book Speak. From the mind of the rapist instead of the raped. Yikes, huh. And, for the record, author of Speak, my girlfriend Laurie Halse Anderson has a quote on the back of the book: "...The world needs this story. And you want to read it, trust me." So, yeah: here's the setup. Keir is a high school senior and he tells this story, which alternates between his graduation from high school and the night he is accused of date rape. In reading this I knew there was something wrong with Keir, and eventually you start to realize that the way he describes things is not really the way a rational person might see them. But his narrative makes me think there is something wrong with him. Some sort of social thing, he doesn't seem to have much of a conscience, and mostly bases this opinions of right and wrong on how other people react to him. Keir keeps saying that he's a good guy, but his evidence for this is never a good deed he's done, it's always based on another person's opinion. Super Weird.
So, he claims he's in love with poor Gigi Boudakian (who's the kind of person you always refer to by their whole name, apparently) and she is the girl who accuses him. There is a sort of mounting suspense during Keir's tale of graduation, going to parties, doing drugs...because the whole time you know what's going to happen. It's very bad news.
It was interesting to see this side of the story and of course, somewhat disturbing. Don't be fooled by that cover, though. There is no fun sex romp to be had within.

Blood and Chocolate : film review

• Based on the book Blood and Chocolate by Annette Curtis Klause
• Directed by Katja Von Garnier
• Written by Ehren Kruger and Christopher P. Landon
• Sony Pictures (2007)
• PG-13
• 98 minutes
• I watched this film on September 3

Oh, my. First, let me preface this by saying I loved the book. A lot. Which is why I was so stoked to see the movie. And why, having seen it, I'm so angry now. Garbage!
Okay: there is so much changed from the book that basically the only thing that's the same are the characters' names and the fact that some of them are werewolves. First, they made the characters older. Okay, I can deal with that. Then they inexplicably changed the setting from America to Bucharest. What? Also they managed to take out all the beauty, all the moral all the...well, good stuff.
The book is about a teenaged werewolf who is struggling with sexuality, with her heritage, with her identity. In the end she resolves those issues and finds peace. In the movie a pretty blond girl runs around, fights and betrays her identity for a moderately attractive random dude (but, oh, he writes graphic novels, so he's edgy!). Also, because they can't bother to really explain the title they have Vivian work in a Chocolate shop. Get it? Cause the title has the word chocolate in it! So clever. Also, they scraped Vivan's mural, which I would have really liked to see. And, oh, by the way; in an expert move of abandoning everything the whole book stood for: Vivian ends up with the wrong guy in the movie! HATE!! There were points where I was wondering if the people who adapted this even read the book.
Is there some good? Well, the phasing to wolf is borderline cool. However, they morph into honest to God wolves, not mythic Loup-garoux. There are some good looking people in it, but no one in this whole film has chemistry with anyone else. How could Oliver Martinez, who was so hot in Unfaithful be so bland here? Though I hated that movie, his performance was much better when he was philandering with Diane Lane. And Agnes Bruckner who plays Vivian is...I dunno, pretty, or whatever, but she did nothing for me. The worst part is the director brought us Iron Jawed Angels which was super good. And the same producer made Underworld, which I loved.
So you know, Rotten Tomatoes agrees with me that this movie was balls. If, for some reason you are interested in visiting the hilariously bad site for the film...well I warned you. (Also, what's with her fake nails? They are on the movie poster and splashed all over that site. Vivian is so not the kind of girl to sport big fake acrylics). I do highly recommend the book, and you can read more about that here.
Alright, that's it, I'm done. I'm so annoyed that the more I think about this movie the more I'd like to punch someone in the throat.

Dracula by Bram Stoker

• Paperback: 432 pages
• Publisher: Bantam Classics (November 1, 1983)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553212710
• ISBN-13: 978-0553212716
• List Price: $4.95
• I finished this book on August 21

Okay my lovelies. Here's the thing, I have mentioned about a billion times that I love vampires, but the truth is: I had never read this before. The place where it all started. For shame. Also, I have seen the 1992 film version so many times that I could not stop picturing those actors as the characters. Boo!
Anywho: I'm sure everyone knows the story of this one. However, if you haven't read it and you are going on popular perception of it, you've probably got it wrong. First, there is no love affair between Mina and Sirius Black, I mean Gary Oldman, I mean Count Dracula. The 1992 movie led us to believe that Mina was all "Blood? Yes, please!" But that's not the case. Also, Neo's portrayal of Jonathan Harker in that movie may lead you to believe that Harker is, in fact, a tool. This is not so. In fact, one thing I was continually struck by is how good the people in this book are. They are almost unrealistically kind and understanding. I wanted to hug them. Also, Dracula is not killed by a stake to the heart. I'm just saying...
The book is written in journal entries and newspaper clippings which is very cool. You get to see all the different characters points of view and it's not as cheesy as the switch off chapter narration of some books. I have to say that even though I knew what was going to happen I was still very invested in the melodrama of it all. I can see why this book spawned such an empire. From crazy fan sites, to movies, to being studied in school to delicious breakfast cereal. Mmmm, marshmallow bats...
Though in my head I am definitely cooking up a sexier version of vampires (1/2 Edward from Twilight and 1/2 my boyfriend Trent Reznor perhaps?) I feel a much better vamp enthusiast having read this. And I promise: I will certainly be picking up more classic gothic horror in the near future.

Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer

• Publisher: Little, Brown Young Readers (August 7, 2007)
• Pages: 628
  
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0316160202
• ISBN-13: 978-0316160209
• List Price: $18.99
• I finished this book on August 8

Remember when I was wistfully missing Edward and Bella? Well, they are finally here. I picked this up as soon as it came out and read it in just over 24 hours. I was almost as excited for this as I was for Harry Potter. Only, unlike HP I have no one to talk about this with, because I don't know anyone else who's read it. When HP came out my phone was ringing off the hook with people who wanted to discuss and scrutinize. Now, there's no one to discuss my favorite vampire love affair with. So, I'll tell you.
Edward and Bella return in the third book in the Twilight Saga. You may remember I reviewed the first two: Twilight and New Moon. In this volume Bella and Edward are about to graduate from high school and they are trying to figure out what to do in the future: turning Bella-wise. So there are some arguments about that because Edward is reluctant to turn her and she's very stubborn. Also, Bella's werewolf friend Jake, who is painfully in love with her stirs up some trouble between the love birds. Including some kissing!! So, poor Bella has to choose between Jake (who's hot, cause, apparently werewolves are super-heated) and Edward who's so cold. I, however, had never had even one beautiful supernatural creature who was vying for my affections. I'm just saying. Regardless: the love triangle action was very cool. I am totally Team Edward, though I can see what is appealing about Jake (he's so hot!).
Anywho: this book also features lots of cool fighting / vampire war goodness. And, the Big Bad was not who I was expecting, so that was cool too. Another cool part of this book was hearing the background stories on some of the other vamps in Edward's family. I was not expecting to ever feel sorry for Rosalie, but...what do you know, I do.
My predictions for this book were woefully wrong. I had hoped to see two things: Bella turned into a vamp and some sexin'. And you know what? Unsurprisingly, I am 0 for 2. Also, no wedding. I expect the next book will come out and it will be the three days leading up to the wedding and I still get nothing. My my that is frustrating. Though the book wasn't what I was expecting it is always nice to spend time with characters like these. The next one should be out in the Fall of '08 and I super want her to release the book Midnight Sun (Twilight from Edwards point of view) but that may never happen. For those interested, you can read the first chapter of that on Meyer's website. For crazy fan news and other related goodies, visit the fan site, here. For general info, go here. Also, this series gets extra point for having three beautiful covers that will look lovely on my bookshelf in my home library some day.
All in all, it went by too fast and now I'm annoyed to have to wait for the next one. Oh, well, I suppose I can find something to read to tide me over...

Kissing Kate by Lauren Myracle

• Reading level: Young Adult
  
• Hardcover: 176 pages
• Publisher: Dutton Juvenile (April 14, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0525469176
• ISBN-13: 978-0525469179
• List Price: $7.99
• I finished this book on July 23

I'm not sure where I first heard of this book. It may have been from one of the many blogs I read, or from some list of gay teen books or even when I saw the author in Fairport at the Teen Book Festival. I didn't see Ms. Myracle's whole presentation but I thought she seemed funny and cool.
Anyway, because I have read many different YA books about gay boys and not so many about the ladies, well, I figured it was really my duty to do so. You know, to be fair. And cause I love the gays.
So, anyway: Lissa and Kate have been best friends for a long time. The kind of best friends I am always jealous of because the seem to get along so well. Anyway: shit goes sour when Kate gets snookered at a party and the girls kiss. A lot. Then, nearly busted, they stop snogging and Kate ignores Lissa, who slips away. Now they aren't talking, resulting in appropriate sturm und drang.
Did I mention that Lissa's parents are dead and she lives with her well intentioned Uncle who kinda sucks at parenting, leaving her to take care of her younger sister? Cause, you know, she needed more problems. Oh, and she's trying to figure out how to have lucid dreams. Or something.
I felt that the devices used in the story were kind of obvious; and while it's not groundbreaking I am still not mad at it. It's a simple story of a girl trying to figure out her sexuality. Some of the characters were interesting, and it was a quick easy read. I'm not sure this is making or breaking some kid's coming out or anything, but it's a good story nonetheless. And extra points for the cool cover. If you stare at it long enough it looks like the blue hearts are moving. Or maybe that's just me.
This did not touch me the same way that Annie on My Mind did, and that is certainly the most popular lesbian YA book I have heard of. For those interested, I suggest checking that one out as well. Here is a list of other gay themed books, and of course, there are lots more out there. Here's another list geared totally toward gay YA. For good measure here's links to resources for gay teens and local LGBT youth groups.

The Nymphos of Rocky Flats by Mario Acevedo

• Paperback: 368 pages
• Publisher: Rayo (March 14, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060833262
• ISBN-13: 978-0060833268
• List Price: $13.95
• I finished this book on July 7th

Okay, so right now you're shaking your heads. Another vampire sex romp? I know, I know. Here's the thing for a book with such a sensational title there is no sex in this book. Honest. There is some brief talk about it, but, in the end: no love. Weak.
The plot: Felix was a soldier in Iraq and he accidentally killed some civilians. Then an Iraqi dude turned him into a vampire. Seriously. So, now he's a private detective vamp who walks in the sun (sunscreen, ugh) and doesn't drink human blood (Oh! The Guilt! Double Ugh!) I must admit I'm a little sick of how every vampire in every book doesn't drink from people. Come on! That's what we're here for! You're not scary if I don't think you might attack me for my delicious plasma at any moment.
So anyway, Mr. Not Spooky Pants slaps on some sunscreen and tried to figure out why some broads at this military base have come down with nymphomania. Hehe. Eventually of course, he does figure it out, but the ending is not what you're thinking. Trust me.
This reminds me vaguely both of the Jack Flemming books and the Dresden Files books. I would recommend this book for vampire lovers like me, but the casual vampire reader may not need to go here. It's not the best example of the genre ever. The pros: moderately funny. Kick ass title/cover. Reasonably cool main character. The cons: did I mention the book is about nymphos and has no sex scenes? Mr. Acevedo you tease.
Apparently this is the first in a series. You can check it out, here. Also Mr. Acevedo writes a blog with another vampire writer, here.
This makes me miss my favorite animal drinking vamp: Edward. When oh when is Eclipse coming out (August 7)?

Rebel Angels by Libba Bray

• Paperback: 592 pages
• Publisher: Delacorte Books for Young Readers; Reprint edition (December 26, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0385733410
• ISBN-13: 978-0385733410
• List Price: $9.99
• I finished this book on Feb. 14

So, this one is the sequel to A Great and Terrible Beauty. Could these titles be any cooler? Plus, I'm digging the cover art, pretty girls, excellent font, check them out here, and here. And did I mention that our author's name sounds like one of her characters' names? Cause it does.
In this edition our heroine Gemma discovers that her actions at the end of the last book have left some serious repercussionsin the Realms (a magic world she can visit). Sexy Indian Kartik is back and Gemma also has a new suitor, Simon. There is suitable tension and quite a good twist in there, as well as Victorian Era teen girl hijinks.
One thing I was surprised by in the first book, and even more so in this one, is the use of some real 'issues'. Things like cutting, incest/rape, and drug addict parents are things I normally think of when I'm thinking modern realistic fiction, not period pieces. But, they are all present here. It doesn't bother me though, maybe because they aren't overly dramatic in context. I guess I just didn't think that girls in corsets were cutting themselves. Little did I know.
In other news, I like the About the Author blurb in the back of the book which urges the reader to visit the author's website (but if you're busy, she understands) so I did. I was not that impressed with it. I thought the Random House site was only marginally better. However, in my searching I did come across some serious fan sites (apparently people are really crazy about Gemma and the girls) as well as info about the upcoming movie. Is every YA book ever being made into a movie?? I think so. So, there should be another book in this series coming out sometime this year. I'll keep my eye out for it, hopefully it will also have an excellent title.

By These Ten Bones by Clare B. Dunkle

• Reading level: Ages 9-12
  
• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Henry Holt and Co. (BYR) (April 14, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0805074961
• ISBN-13: 978-0805074963
• List Price: $16.95
• I finished this book on Feb. 10

I sat around for quite a while before writing this one trying to cook up something definitive to share with you. Honestly, I've got nothing. So, here goes: let me set the scene for you: it's the Middle Ages. Our heroine is not that attractive. She meets a boy who has a secret. Guess what? He's a werewolf. She decides she's gonna let that slide. Chaos ensues. There is a lot of "I love you" action being thrown around here, but not even kissing. Lame-o.
Here's what I liked about it: the historical fiction-y aspects of it were interesting and very well researched, according to the author's webpage; here. I liked the werewolf lore in the story okay, including the "cure".
Here's what I didn't like: the character development wasn't as deep as I had hoped. I wasn't particularly attached to anyone of them. The story didn't feel particularly solid to me.
But mostly, I'm just feeling kinda "eh" about this one. I'm not mad at it, but I don't want to date it either, you know? Werewolves are second in my heart after vampires, and I can really get behind a monster who doesn't want to be a monster, but for some reason, I am not really feeling this book. Yes, it's a YA book, so I am trying to put it in that context in my head. But another YA werewolf book, Blood and Chocolate, keeps coming to mind, and it is overshadowing this one, big time. I would suggest that one over this one, and if you're interested, check out this werewolf site here.

New Moon by Stephanie Meyer

• Hardcover: 576 pages
• Publisher: Little, Brown Young Readers (August 21, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0316160199
• ISBN-13: 978-0316160193
• List Price: $17.99
• I finished this book on Feb. 9

Wow, I'm still all flushed from finishing this one, folks. Ever since I read Twilight, the first book in this series, I have been dying to get my hot paws onto the sequel. It did not disappoint, my friends.
In this edition, Edward pulls a typical moves and tries to leave Bella because he feels he puts her in danger. Hasn't he seen any movies or read any books? Doesn't he know that this scenario virtually never works... for anyone? Typically this results in heart break and then the jilted person does something rash. This is exactly what happens: Edwards leaves and Bella plunges into despair. She makes friends with someone who turns out to be a werewolf. Total shenanigans ensue, including motorcycles and jumping off cliffs. Not to mention nasty vengeful redhead vampires.
I liked seeing the other vamps in Italy, even if they were creepy. I liked all the Romeo and Juliet allusions. There were many good things in this one, even if there was a lack of Edward.
This book was slower in parts through the middle than the first, but I still really liked it. I was totally mad about them being broken up through most of it, but I liked Bella's friendship with Jacob, too. I like the contrast of the guys (the species?) and I love the loose ends and sweet promises for a new book, which should be out sometime late this summer. Did I mention that there was a proposal in this one? Even if it wasn't as achingly romantic as this girl would have hoped it did make my night. I'm not entirely sure I will be able to make it until the next book comes out.
I know it's stupid, and probably not going to happen but I want someone to turn Bella into a vampire in the next book. I want it to be Edward, but since he probably won't here's how I think it should go down: Some other bad guy ( or girl) vamp gets at her and she turns and it's not anyone's fault, and no one in the family can be blamed or feel guilty, and then she gets what she wants and Edward can't be too mad. That's way too convenient and completely not going to happen, but it's a long time from now until summer and I can dream...sigh.
There's also talk of making Twilight into a movie, which I want to see badly. But I'm also concerned that they'll wreck it. Here's hoping...

The Silver Kiss by Annette Curtis Klause

• Reading level: Young Adult
  
• Mass Market Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Laurel Leaf; Reissue edition (August 1, 1992)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0440213460
• ISBN-13: 978-0440213468
• List Price: $5.99
• I finished this book on Feb. 3

I read this book in one day after finishing Twilight. I think I wanted more vampire goodness. This did not exactly do it for me, to be honest. Klause has another book out, which I liked called Blood and Chocolate (about werewolves and now a movie, also). So, I thought, I liked her other book, and I love vampires, so this is a sure thing. But...not so much.
The story is about a teen girl whose best friend is moving away (bummer) and whose mother is dying of cancer (super bummer). One night she sees a strange boy in the park. He scares her and though they lock eyes they do not speak. Then she meets him again on the street, and they talk. She seems to think he's nice, but nothing more. Then she sees him in an alley eating a bird (yikes) and runs away (good move). However, directly after this incident she proceeds to let him into her house where she is home alone and hang out with him. What? By this time I am annoyed. There is nothing smooth about this progression, their relationship is odd to me, off kilter somehow. He trusts her with his vampy secret and she lets him drink her blood and now I'm mad. It's a good scene, but meshed into the story in a weird way.
The characters are odd, and their dialog is not natural, nor compelling. I liked the idea of the story, but nothing really did it for me. The main villain, a child vamp, was not scary enough for me. Believe me, a child can be a scary foe (Stephen King did it, twice, not to mention Anne Rice's Claudia) but this evil child was not chilling. I also felt that the climax was rushed. The whole vanquishing of the bad guy part was not even exciting to me.
Also, there is a pretty preachy moral to this story. Something along the lines of accepting death, blah blah, living life to the fullest, blah blah.
Overall, I'm not mad I read it, but I wanted for it to be better. I had high hopes, and they were sadly unfulfilled. I can't hate on Mrs. Klause too much though, because she is a librarian, and I love the library ladies. (I wonder if she ever booktalks her own books? I totally would.) Anywho, I definitely suggest reading her werewolf book instead of her vampire book.

A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray

• Reading level: Young Adult
  
• Hardcover: 416 pages
• Publisher: Delacorte Books for Young Readers (December 9, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0385730284
• ISBN-13: 978-0385730280
• List Price: $16.95
• I finished this book on Jan. 29
  

Don't you love this title. It's so titillating, so promising. A+ for excellent title.
So, okay, if I had to classify this book, I don't even know what I'd say. It's sort of like a fantasy/historical fiction, if that makes sense. I would add romance to that slashiness, except that there isn't any actual sex. And you know I love the actual sex. There is, however, a spicy dream or two. Speaking of the no sex, that's the only reason that this book doesn't get the Bee Seal of Approval, because the earlier sections of the book led me to believe that there would be some sex (possibly of the bodice ripping variety) and the end of the book did not deliver. However, I just found out that there is a sequel to this goodness, in which I am hoping for some action.
So by now you're probly wondering the plot. Here it is, Gemma (pronounced with a J sound like Jem - who, yes, is truly outrageous) is 16 and it's the year 1895. She's sent to a boarding school after her mother dies, and begins to discover that she has powers. First it's just visions. Then she discovers that her visions are more powerful than she thinks, and allow her to enter another world, where she finds incredible power. Because she's a teenage girl in a boarding school she shares this secret with some other teenage girls, and they of course, manage to mess everything up. Chaos ensues. Will our heroine be able to...sorry. I thought I was booktalking for a minute.
Either way, I liked Gemma and her first person narration. There are some twisties and turnies in this plot, though it's likely you won't be too shocked. Interesting views of the life of women in this time period and I liked the fantasy aspect too. Hopefully, the next one will be even better, and will earn my mark of highest praise.

I Am Legend by Richard Matheson

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Orb Books; 1st ORB pbk. ed edition (September 15, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 031286504X
• ISBN-13: 978-0312865047
• List price: $14.95
  
• I finished this book on Jan. 20

So, someone recommended this book to me because I heart vampires. So, I hunted it down and read it. This particular volume contained the novel I Am Legend and then some other short stories after it. I can't say that I was in love with the short (and I mean really short) stories, but I really dug the main attraction.
First, I'll admit that there wasn't really as much vampire action in the book as I had kind of expected. However, I think the good parts of the book are the same things that make a lot of zombie stories cool: What do you do when you are alone in a crazy and dangerous world. The story picks up in the middle of the survival story of the last man on Earth after what I assume is some sort of vampire apocalypse. Good times. He stays in his reinforced home at night and hunts the sleeping vamps in the daytime. One cool thing I hadn't thought of before is that he can't really travel anywhere beyond a day's journey. So he's pretty much stuck within a safe radius of his home. For the record though, I believe that I would have like 6 watches and an almanac to predict the time of sunset and be safely home by then. (i feel like a farmers almanac or something would have that info).
The ending of this book was awesome, and not what I was expecting at all. Of course, I have a philosophy about reading books. I don't ever try to figure out what the ending will be while I'm reading it. When I'm reading Eve and Roarke books, I am never trying to figure out too hard who the killer is. I like to be taken on a ride, told the story, not try to outsmart the author. Harry Potter books are the only ones that I actively try to figure out what's going to happen, and maybe that is only because it takes so long for those to come out.
Anyway, I thank this book for giving me something to worry about besides zombies taking over the world, now I have to worry about vampires too. Thanks a lot, Matheson.

Bag of Bones by Stephen King

Mass Market Paperback: 752 pages
Publisher: Pocket (June 1, 1999)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 067102423X
ISBN-13: 978-0671024239
List price: $7.99

I actually began this book before the new year, but I finished it after the 1st, so this is the book to kick off my blog.
The main character is Mike Noonan, a writer. Whenever Stephen King's main character is a writer (Bill from IT, Thad from The Dark Half , Ben Mears from 'Salem's Lot, or himself in The Dark Tower) I wonder how much of the character is really him. This writer is from Maine like King, but has lost his wife and is struggling from writer's block.
The story revolves around the haunting of Mike's lake house and his relationship with a young mother and her daughter. For most of the book Mike and the reader struggle with the attraction between the 21 year old widow Mattie and the 40 something writer Mike. Everyone except me. I want them to get together. I am rooting for them. *possible spoiler* But you know they aren't going to no matter how nice that kiss is. King even almost talks about how what happens in the end is a literary device to get him out of letting them have sex. Do I think it's cowardly? No. Do I think it sucks? Yes. I know they won't be together, but I romantic and foolish girl can dream, can't she?
Overall, I really liked the haunting in this book and the small town hysteria aspects were very creepy. I found myself getting very heated and angry with certain characters throughout. I never really want to get violent, but sometimes when you watch a movie or read a book you just see this one character that you know should be killed. You know that if they keep on living bad things are going to happen so you should just kill them. There is not one but two creepies like that in this book. Top notch crazies, really. So, the moral of this blog is that while I liked this book, it doesn't make it into my top ten of King books (because you know, he's written a thousand).