- Based on the book Blood and Chocolate by Annette Curtis Klause
- Directed by Katja Von Garnier
- Written by Ehren Kruger and Christopher P. Landon
- Sony Pictures (2007)
- 98 minutes
- I watched this film on September 3
Oh, my. First, let me preface this by saying I loved the book. A lot. Which is why I was so stoked to see the movie. And why, having seen it, I'm so angry now. Garbage!
Okay: there is so much changed from the book that basically the only thing that's the same are the characters' names and the fact that some of them are werewolves. First, they made the characters older. Okay, I can deal with that. Then they inexplicably changed the setting from America to Bucharest. What? Also they managed to take out all the beauty, all the moral all the...well, good stuff.
The book is about a teenaged werewolf who is struggling with sexuality, with her heritage, with her identity. In the end she resolves those issues and finds peace. In the movie a pretty blond girl runs around, fights and betrays her identity for a moderately attractive random dude (but, oh, he writes graphic novels, so he's edgy!). Also, because they can't bother to really explain the title they have Vivian work in a Chocolate shop. Get it? Cause the title has the word chocolate in it! So clever. Also, they scraped Vivan's mural, which I would have really liked to see. And, oh, by the way; in an expert move of abandoning everything the whole book stood for: Vivian ends up with the wrong guy in the movie! HATE!! There were points where I was wondering if the people who adapted this even read the book.
Is there some good? Well, the phasing to wolf is borderline cool. However, they morph into honest to God wolves, not mythic Loup-garoux. There are some good looking people in it, but no one in this whole film has chemistry with anyone else. How could Oliver Martinez, who was so hot in Unfaithful be so bland here? Though I hated that movie, his performance was much better when he was philandering with Diane Lane. And Agnes Bruckner who plays Vivian is...I dunno, pretty, or whatever, but she did nothing for me. The worst part is the director brought us Iron Jawed Angels which was super good. And the same producer made Underworld, which I loved.
So you know, Rotten Tomatoes agrees with me that this movie was balls. If, for some reason you are interested in visiting the hilariously bad site for the film...well I warned you. (Also, what's with her fake nails? They are on the movie poster and splashed all over that site. Vivian is so not the kind of girl to sport big fake acrylics). I do highly recommend the book, and you can read more about that here.
Alright, that's it, I'm done. I'm so annoyed that the more I think about this movie the more I'd like to punch someone in the throat.